I don\u2019t think my mom realized how dangerous it would be to name me \u201cFaith.\u201d At birth, I had a hole in my heart that needed to be repaired so I would survive. My mom told the Lord that, \u201cIf He would let me live, she promised I would grow up in the faith.\u201d After a few weeks passed my heart was patched up and I was released expected to live a normal life. And, as promised, I was raised in the church and joined a bunch of ministries. I enjoyed being in God\u2019s house and accepted Christ at a young age. I loved my name and felt sort of popular to see \u201cfaith\u201d printed in the Bible so many times.<\/p>\n
My upbringing was challenging but seemed somewhat ordinary. Each year I needed to go to the cardiologist to check up on my heart and it seemed like every visit was the same. The doctors could hear a murmur but said I should be fine. I did well in school but noticed I tired easily. My heart didn\u2019t seem to keep up like the other kids. When the PE teacher hollered for us to run around the field it was a challenge. I would walk, then run a bit, then would have chest pain and feel out of breath. The teacher allowed me to \u201csit out\u201d the activity and I would routinely plop myself on the sidewalk. I\u2019d watch my classmates and pick on the grass wishing I were \u201cnormal\u201d (whatever that means) like everyone else.<\/p>\n
As I got older I went to a local college and seemed to get by. Tests and projects gave me stress (as any college student would feel) and I had chest pain every now and then. I eventually graduated and applied to jobs but didn\u2019t have much luck in this area. In fact, I got fired from my first real job and quit my second job because I thought that the stress was literally taking years from my life. I felt so incapable and found myself asking God, \u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n
In 2015, I thought my life was finally coming together. I felt pretty healthy. I was a high school teacher and loved my job. I was saving for my future and everything just seemed to be falling into place. By the time 2016 rolled around I thought it would be a wonderful repeat of last year. In March, I woke up with one of the worse feelings in my life. My heart was pounding out of my chest and skipping like crazy. I couldn\u2019t breath and my thoughts were dark. I kept thinking that my heart problem from birth was back and that my life was over at 27.<\/p>\n
From then on I\u2019d have a series of heart palpitations, anxiety attacks, bouts of depression, incredible nausea and vomiting, and migraines. All of this crushed my confidence and sense of independence and I felt like I was in a prisoner in my own body. In my mind I would once again be this kid who couldn\u2019t keep up with everyone else and would have to throw their dreams out. I hated my name so much that when my mom called me one afternoon I said, \u201cI\u2019m Donna\u2014don\u2019t call me Faith.\u201d For weeks I refused to go out in fear that I\u2019d have an episode.<\/p>\n
Some time passed before I told myself that I\u2019d thrown myself enough pity parties and from this day on I\u2019d hold unto my namesake \u201cFaith.\u201d I poured over the Bible seeking his truth and listened to sermons. I remember listening to one sermon (by the ever inspirational Joni Eareckson Tada) that told me that even with present health struggles I had to decide to \u201cget busy living\u201d or \u201cget busy dying.\u201d I told myself to choose to get busy living.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m still on a constant emotional roller coaster (feeling positive one day and like Eeyore the next) but I keep trying. I\u2019m starting to realize that life wasn\u2019t meant to be easy which helps. That although life gets rough we need to push and keep living life\u2014by faith.<\/p>\n
Always,<\/p>\n
Faith<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I don\u2019t think my mom realized how dangerous it would be to name me \u201cFaith.\u201d At birth, I had a hole in my heart that needed to be repaired so I would survive. My mom told the Lord that, \u201cIf He would let me live, she promised I would grow up in the faith.\u201d After […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-125","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shiningideas.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/125","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shiningideas.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shiningideas.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shiningideas.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shiningideas.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=125"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.shiningideas.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/125\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":128,"href":"https:\/\/www.shiningideas.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/125\/revisions\/128"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shiningideas.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=125"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shiningideas.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=125"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shiningideas.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=125"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}