– by faith –

“How do you become an optimistic person?,” I asked my oldest sister, Antoinette.

“You just do it,” she replied straightforwardly.

“Really?” I was slightly offended on how quickly she answered. Hah, like it’s that simple I thought.

“Yeah, being positive is a choice. You choose to see the good,” she smiled and looked at me.

The conversation didn’t go exactly this way but it was pretty close.

I didn’t really understand this when I first heard it and thought it was a load of hooey. I’d think, “Positivity is my choice?!” “How can I ‘choose’ to be positive when I’m stuck in a negative environment?!” Or, “How can I ‘choose’ to be positive when I’m always sick?!” This is how I feel and I can’t change it! Nu-uh, nope, no sir!

As a self proclaimed Eeyore (who is trying to help herself) I’ve read tons of positivity blogs, articles, and advice columns and they all seem to have one big thing in common: positivity is a decision you make. The more I thought of it—the more it made sense. I recall a sermon that once told a story about a husband and wife who were fighting when all of a sudden the phone rang. After a few more huffs and puffs, the wife picked up and with the sweetest voice said, “Good evening, hello?” to the person on the other line. How did she so quickly switch from being furious to calm before answering the phone? It was a choice she made. A-ha.

Positive Pollyanna

They call it the “Pollyanna Principle” and I think she’s on to something. If you haven’t read the book, it’s about this overly optimistic girl named Pollyanna who sees the good in everything. And when I say “everything” I mean ev-ry-th-ing. The girl had a knack of being grateful even if she was given the attic as a bedroom (in a mansion filled with empty rooms) by her aunt and water and bread for dinner. I don’t know about you, but it would be very difficult for me to not be bitter if I were in her raggedy shoes. In 1 Thessalonians the Lord reminds us to:

Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

– 1 Thessalonians 5:18

 We may not all be able to be as optimistic as Pollyanna, but there are things we can choose to do to help us lean a little more to the right attitude.

• Choose to stop a negative thought on its tracks – Just like a tempting thought we shouldn’t let negative thoughts creep in our minds. Don’t let downer thinking have a foothold in your brain. Instead, literally say “stop” and try think of something else. Maybe how grateful you are that you woke up today or how beautiful the weather is.
• Choose to distract yourself – Do a healthy activity that gets your mind off of what’s weighing you down. Go walking, cook a delicious dish, or watch a light-hearted movie. They also say helping others is a good way to keep you from thinking of yourself too much and everything that’s wrong with your life.
• Choose to talk it out – Sometimes when you’re drowned in negative thoughts it helps to speak with someone else you trust. One, it’s just downright therapeutic to let it out there. Two, they may have a different angle on your situation. Three, they can help remind you to see the good.

I don’t know how severely you may be affected by your situation–so I know it’s not a change that can happen overnight. But the more practice you put into positivity the more you will reap the benefits of a lighter heart and healthier life.

Always,

Faith

I’m just going to go right out and say it: The Lord dented my life. Before this year, my life felt like a car in fairly decent condition set to cruise control. Until, that is, God lovingly struck me on the side and changed the course I set for myself. Unexpectedly, it didn’t feel like I had much control over my life anymore. The pace that I set, the destination that my heart wanted to go, was thrown off.

When I started to get sick I was frustrated because I was sure my plans (for my career, when I would get married, and how much savings I stored) were going to pull through cause I had the power—the control—of my life. But I guess that was the thing—I was in control and that wasn’t how God wanted it to be.

Giving up control of your life is such a scary thing. There have been countless nights where I would sit on the floor of my bedroom and tearfully asked God “to please fix me because I don’t know how to fix myself anymore.” Enter Joseph. At the beginning of his story you’d think that Joseph had it made. He was his father’s favorite and was handcrafted a beautiful multicolored coat as a sign of his love. However, little did he know, all this was causing his brothers to grow jealous.

Joseph was known as “the Dreamer” so I’m pretty sure he had plans for his life. And, well, I’m also pretty sure his brothers plotting to kill him and throwing him in the well wasn’t part of it. When this happened, he probably had no clue what was going to happen to him. But God did.

HE was working when he was sold to Potiphar.

HE was working when he was wrongfully thrown in prison.

HE WAS WORKING.

In Genesis it says that:

“The Lord was with Joseph, so he became a successful man.”

– Genesis 39:2

“The Lord was with Joseph…” Sometimes, it could feel like the Lord does the whole “hit and run” with our lives. This isn’t true. When he “dents” our lives he does not leave us alone—he, instead, draws nearer to you and gives you His grace and strength (II Corinthians 12:9). Through the time Joseph spent being tossed around Egypt the Lord was doing great behind the scenes things that were not yet revealed to him until later. In the end Joseph had an amazing future—something he probably would have never achieved if God did not interrupt his life.

I wouldn’t be telling you the truth if I said that I’ve wholly accepted this dent in my life. In fact, there is a page in my journal where I planned out my dream life from 2012-2016 that I look back on every now and then (and sigh a bit). Needless to say, things haven’t turned out how I expected and I’m way off track from my 5-year plan. But for now, I think I’m ok with it.

Always,

Faith

It’s not the place we choose to be. Waiting rooms are known to be eerie quiet with hard on your backside chairs and outdated magazines. In this place we stare at other people (or try our best to avoid eye contact) and wait for our name to be called.

Sometimes the wait isn’t long. We surprisingly get called after a few minutes and are out the door in no time to move on with our day. But there are times when we wait an hour or more to be called, and its in these moments where we start constantly checking the time and muttering something angry at the innocent receptionist.

There are many things, and good things at that, that we wait for in this life. Some of us are waiting on a job, healing from prolonged sickness, or when to get married. Personally, I’m waiting for all the above. I know all too well that waiting can lead to much frustration…then crying…then restlessness… then doubt… then more crying and then the whole dreaded cycle begins again. Whoop ti do.

God’s Functional Clock

It seems that the waiting room is the place that stands in between you and where you want or need to be. The word difficult does not even begin to describe how tough it is to wait on God. On really bad days I think His watch must be broken or even that He’s forgotten about me (deep down in my heart I know this isn’t true and try my best to shake it off). In Ecclesiastes it says:

“He does everything right and on time, but people can never understand what he is doing.”

– Ecclesiastes 3:11

So I definitely agree that the Lord does “everything right and on time.” The frustrating part is that I have no idea what His bigger picture is and I have no idea what His schedule is like…which brings me to the hardest yet best thing we can do: seek Him and trust that He is working for your good. Ultimately, I know that what I want is for Him to insta-answer my prayer when this probably isn’t what God thinks is best for you. I feel that usually He wants me to lean on Him and know that He is God.

Waiting Well

Some quick tips on how to make the most out of the waiting room:

• Journal – I know it seems a bit crazy to write down painful times in your life cause some of us don’t want to remember them—but it could be beneficial. One, it serves as an amazing outlet to express your feelings. Two, you can look back on it to see how God has come through for you in unexpected ways.
• Find the positives – Among the pain and hardship, pick something positive out of your situation. You may be gaining wisdom or learning to be compassionate. Maybe you might even realize in the future that the waiting room was the best time in your life to grow with God.
• Grow: Lastly, grow. I find that the times that I’ve gone through intense emotional pain is when I clung the most to God and grew (yea, pain has a way of making you do this). I’d wake up in the morning and literally cry out to the Lord because he was the only thing that was keeping me going. These were such dark times but beautiful times as well.

Just a reminder on God’s clock: It’s working—meaning He’s working…

Always,

Faith

I’ve recently found myself longing for the past. The days when I was healthier, happier, and felt like I had good things going for me. I keep wishing for a time machine so I could relive the good ole’ days but also do some things over (mostly do some things over). Since we all know that time travel is not possible, I thought of some things I wish someone would have told the younger me.

1. Take care of your health – It’s no secret that when you’re young you feel invincible. Stay out all night, eat whatever your heart desires, and keep pushing your body to its limit. That is, until you go over the edge and find yourself sick as a dog out in the rain. Take time to evaluate your lifestyle habits. Get enough rest, stress less, exercise a few days a week, eat right, build good relationships and be physically and emotionally at your best.
2. Forgive generously – I’ve held my fair share of grudges and regretted each and every one of them. I blacklisted the boy who chose one of my best friends over me, the friend that always flaked last minute, and on and on. Recently I saw a girl who I vowed to “backlist” forever from my life. She warmly asked me how I was, and told me a little bit of what was going on in her life, and my heart sank. Whatever that had went wrong between us she obviously let go (while I was clutching on to the hate like a crab who just got ahold of a big toe). So much time has passed and sadly so much time has been lost. I could have mended the relationship years ago and kept this person as my friend.
3. Love harder – Cherish your loved ones like they’re beautiful snowflakes. Here one moment and then gone the next. I’ve never felt how temporary life is until now. A good friend of mine unexpectedly lost his father two months ago and might be on the verge of losing his grandmother to stroke. My own mom has been battling paroxysmal atrial fibrillation for years and has experienced an obvious decline in health. I know sometimes it may seem that your friends or family will be there to hang out or annoy you forever but they really aren’t.
4. Be involved – We all have had good intentions to “help others and make this world a better place.” My advice to you: do it. Honestly, what better time than the present (cause now maybe your only chance). No more just thinking of wanting to do good and—Just. Do. It. Look up volunteer opportunities at your local animal shelter, Salvation Army, senior citizen community center, church, or school. There are so many places that need help you just need to dive right in.
5. Ask for guidance – What could you lose from asking someone you trust for advice? Lately, I’ve been earnestly seeking the Lord for what to do next in my life because I’ve come to a point where I have absolutely no idea what to do. I really believe that the percent of things that I did wrong could have been slashed in half if I sought some sort of council. True, some of the negative experiences have made me grow. But there were several choices I made that were not necessary and could have saved me a lot of trouble.

My heart is still sad that I can’t redo things over so that my present circumstances could be better—but I feel like this list can serve as a reminder of what to do here on out.

If you’re still breathing—it’s not over yet. Go out there and live.

Always,

Faith